Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
