I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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