I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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