all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
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