I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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