i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
