You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
