What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
