Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
