I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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