I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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