Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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