awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
