would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
