we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
