What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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