I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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