just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize