I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
