i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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