I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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