Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
