I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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