she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
