I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize