he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
