sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
