the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
