I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Less talking, more tequila
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize