i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Randomize
