he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Help. Why am I so naked?
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