ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
