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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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