i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
