Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
