I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize