Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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