tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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