So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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