Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
There's even glitter on my cock...
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