Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
