What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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