my mouth tastes like poor choices
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.