I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.