He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
