My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
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The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.