WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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