then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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