I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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