3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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