you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
