Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
