Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's never too late to be topless.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
is that a dick in a sweater?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
