I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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