That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
