He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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