I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
