drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
