Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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