Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
