its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
