Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
