I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
