I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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