Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
