Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
