AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
