im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
